About Me

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After being told I would never be able to have children, I am now a stay-at-home Mommy to Maddie who happens to have Down Syndrome. I've been married 16 years to my best friend, having the time of my life. Thanks for stopping by and sharing in our little journey through life.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Deep-Set Beliefs

Starting a photography business is hard.  
There's a lot of things that can get you down and cause frustration.

The constant barrage of information as well as competition is paralyzing.  

Sometimes I begin to compare myself and the insecurities bubble up.
I can get in a funky state of mind that's not good.
It's negative, unproductive, and unnecessary.

The only thing I know to do when I get in the funk is to go to Scripture.  

God gave me this verse, Psalm 37:23-24
"The Lord directs the steps of the godly.  He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they may stumble, they will never fall for He holds them by the hand."

I've clung to that verse like a barnacle holding on for dear life the last few days.  
Reciting it over and over and over and meditating on it. 

Finally, I had what they call in the therapy world "a breakthrough"
As I was driving home from the grocery store, I realized it didn't say If you ask nicely, God will direct the steps of the godly. 
He just does it.
I was begging God to do something He just does. Period. 

Then I realized I lacked belief.  

I didn't really believe God did this because I have an internal, deep-set belief that I wasn't worthy of that kind of attention from God.  Who am I that He would delight in every detail of my life and hold me by the hand?

This was huge.
Like gigantic, this-could-change-everything-huge!

The next realization solidified the entire experience.  

As tears streamed down my face on the way home from the grocery store, 
God assured me I was worthy of all of His attention not because I'm a good person, 
or I did something right, or asked for the right thing...
but simply because of Jesus and the power of his blood.  

Because of Jesus' work on the cross, I can have the chance to be reconciled to God and receive his gifts of presence, time, attention and guidance.  
That's life-changing enough to change some misguided deep-set beliefs!!  

Friday, April 19, 2013

I've Got Some Catching Up To Do! First Up, Easter!

Ah, finally.
A quiet morning with a now-healthy little one and time to blog!

Maddie survived her first tummy bug.  
At 4 1/2, I would say we are certainly lucky to have avoided that so long.
It's awful!

So on to happier topics...Easter!  
Easter was really different for us this year.

It was the first year since Kyle and I have been married (13 years!) that we stayed home.  

On the Saturday afternoon before Easter, I decided I would do a big Easter dinner for the three of us.
Whole, roasted chicken, broccoli, green salad, some other veggie, and rolls.  
That turned into pizza.  
But...at least it WAS homemade!

AND, this was the first year I didn't sew Maddie's Easter dress.  
Although I did enjoy having the dress purchased and ready a month ahead of time, this will definitely change next year.  
That brief moment of enjoyment could not replace the joy of staying up late the night before trying to finish the last hem, having the sewing machine do crazy things it's never done before, realizing I bought the wrong size zipper, have cut the pattern out wrong, and have sewn the sash backwards! 
Yes, it's crazy but I totally missed it this year!

Plus, we never even dyed Easter eggs.  
OK, wait...I'm just now realizing now that we actually had a sad little Easter. (lol)

Maddie sure looked cute though!

Hope your Easter was happy, happy, happy! :) 

Friday, April 12, 2013

I'm 35!!

A few weeks ago I celebrated my 35th birthday. 
I have 3 gray hairs and the sleep lines linger a lot longer than they used to in the mornings.

Despite that, I still feel 25!

It was a great day with a sweet birthday surprise from the ladies at bible study and a great dinner with friends.  
Maddie made us napkin hats!

I got this from Kyle....
any guesses at what it could be?

Keep reading to find out! :)  

One of my best buddies from grade school invited me to come work out with her.  

I got really concerned when she told me she's only thrown up once. 

I haven't "worked out" in years!!

After a very intense workout, I didn't feel so great, but I had survived!  
But then, as the day went on  and especially the next day, every cell in my body was screaming, 
"YOU'RE 35!"
"YOU ARE NO LONGER 18, OR 25, OR 29...YOU'RE 35!!"

It was brutal, but the cells are right.  
It's time to really start taking care of myself which means more regular exercise
and continuing to eat well.  

Which brings me back to the mystery gift from Kyle. 

It's a rice cooker!  

It cooks the BEST brown rice you've ever tasted.
It's fluffy just like white rice with the great, nutty flavor of brown rice.
Best of both worlds. 

Plus, we made steel cut oats that were absolutely delicious!