Kyle had the day off (yay!) so we decided to take a little family outing and visit the pumpkin patch. There were a group of school children there as well. As we were leaving a couple of boys, probably just 5-6 years old noticed Maddie. One of them laughed at Maddie and said, "Her face looks funny." My initial instinct was to scoop her up and run like a bat out of hell (which is exactly what I did). The mother or teacher of the little boy called him over and told him something and as we passed by she said how cute Maddie was. I smiled and said Thank you while holding back the tears. All the while Maddie is just smiling and waving bye-bye to the little boys.
I admit I've been in denial...seriously, telling myself this day
might never come. But I suppose it's good to happen now, while Maddie can still smile and wave back and I can prepare ourselves for the day when it will hurt far worse than today. The day when a comment is made and Maddie realizes she's different.
In hind sight, I should have stopped and explained to the little boys that she looks a little different simply because she has Down Syndrome. To expect acceptance we have to teach acceptance, right?
So, how would you have handled it? How do you prepare a child for something like this?
Nothing makes someone feel more out of place than when everyone around them is sensitive to the thing that makes them feel different. Acceptance and sensitivity are actually very different, and you won't succeed at trying to change the way the rest of the world acts around Maddie.
ReplyDeleteI've always thought that one of the great things about people with Down Syndrome is that they don't let their fears/shame get the best of them the same way those of us without it do. Everyone gets made fun of. When I was younger I remember being made fun of for wearing glasses and I remember being told I had an odd banana-shaped head. Everyone feels different at some point in their lives. Maddie will be no different than anyone else in that regard, except that she will always be surrounded by so much love that she won't even care. It will be your job to make sure she always knows that, and in that regard you are no different than any other parent.
Great picture, by the way!
ReplyDeleteFirst off let me say I'm sorry that happened but like you said it was bound to happen. I would have reacted just as you did probably or worse I might have sad something ugly to the little boy which would have been even worse because he is a child and I'm suppose to be the adult. But it just hurts and when hurt we sometimes lash out.
ReplyDeleteSometimes you just don't know what to do. Had you stopped and said that to the boy he would not probably have still understood. I think that the important thing is that you and Kyle and the rest of Maddie's loving family will always be there to balance out the rest of the world for Maddie and having that is what will ultimately mean the most. Love you Sam!
Diane
Thanks so much for the comments. It helps. : )
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that happend. You and your family are royalty and don't let anyone rob you of yout joy.
ReplyDeleteLuv Ya Sam
The truth is Maddie is a beautiful, sweet little girl with some incredible parents. Sure, the world will hurt her on occasion...just as it hurt Jesus...just as it has hurt us all...("those Christians sure do act funny"), but you handled it with class and dignity.
ReplyDeleteHope you guys are doing GREAT!