After being told I would never be able to have children, I am now a stay-at-home Mommy to Maddie who happens to have Down Syndrome. I've been married 16 years to my best friend, having the time of my life. Thanks for stopping by and sharing in our little journey through life.
Last weekend, we celebrated Maddie's 5th birthday.
Usually, I plan these parties months in advance, careful not to overlook any detail.
This year was different.
Different was good.
I was literally inviting people the day before the party this year.
I know, classy, huh?
But it was nice, and relaxed, and our special friends came and shared a great celebration with us!
Our little celebration actually began the day before with Maddie's cousins Caleb and Grady.
She was super excited to see her cousins and open up her gifts!
And afterward we all went out to eat Greek food.
The boys are studying Greece as part of their homeschool curriculum.
I love that part of homeschooling...a road trip becomes an educational activity!!
Decorations were super simple.
with
the exception of this wreath I made for last year's party, I just
bought everything the day before at Wal-Mart! Super easy!!
When our honored guests arrived, we took pictures (of course)
Some friends (including Maddie) didn't want their pics taken :)
haha...i love this, "if I just close my eyes maybe the camera will go away"
There were cupcakes instead of cake because our awesome cake making friend will be having her little one any day now!
There was play time with her good buddy Nate.
And there was story time...
I wrote a little book for Maddie about what it means to be a princess.
I
wanted her to know that if she wanted to be a princess she would have
to be a hard worker, be respectful, wait patiently for things, look for
the good in others, etc.
And according to this very-scientific-truth-because-it's-on-the-internet blog post, Maddie is only a year behind her peers! :)
Stage 1 - carrying them around
You know me, I've never been too concerned with keeping up with developmental stages.
I trust Maddie will do everything that's expected of a growing child, she'll just do it in her own time.
But I have to be honest...
Sometimes I think she's so much like the other kids, I fear I may miss something.
Like overlook an expectation that may be just beyond her reach.
Stage 2 - linear building
For example,
is it normal for an almost five-year-old (well ok, we'll say almost four-year-old because that's where she is developmentally) to have trouble flushing the toilet?
We've been working on this for weeks.
My first adaptation in helping her accomplish this task was to use a fist rather than her finger, because I knew her finger wouldn't be strong enough.
I taught her to push down with a full fist.
But it's like she's not understanding the meaning of the word down.
When she's attempting to flush the toilet with her fist, she's tense and I know she's trying with all her might but it's as if she's pushing towards the wall.
Like pushing hard...this girl is strong, I tell you!
How is it that she doesn't understand the concept of pushing in the down direction?
In my mind, I guess I assumed all kids nearly 4 would have trouble, but I think the reality is this is one of the expectations that may be just beyond her reach.
And I don't know how to process this.
I want to have high expectations for her.
I believe she's perfectly capable of rising to the occasion, no doubt in my mind.
But then as I take a step back and put things in perspective,
I have to remind myself Maddie might have other issues going on.
What if she needs an occupational therapist to work with her?
What if she doesn't have the fine motor control to finagle flushing the toilet?
What if there are things sheer determination and believing in rainbows and optimism just won't fix?
Proverbs 12:11
"A hard worker has plenty of food, but a person who chases fantasies has no sense."
I'm not sure if expecting that she can do anything is fair or fantasy.
Of course she will eventually learn to flush the toilet.
Of course she will eventually be fully potty trained.
Of course she will eventually learn to dress herself.
But is is fair to assume she will learn to tie her shoes?
Is it fair or fantasy to assume she will learn to read and write her name?
Is it fair or fantasy to assume she will be able to live independently, have a job, and be self-sufficient?
It's tough because I want the very best for her and I want her to succeed and hold her own.
But I have to be careful not to project my dreams and desires unfairly on her.
I have to accept and love her for who she is, and not always focus on who she will become.
Proverbs 27:12
"A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions. The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences."
I think in building this foundational value that we set high expectations and hopes while carefully recognizing limitations now, we will hopefully parent her in the best way possible.
It's hard, and honestly sometimes I wonder if I'm up to the task.
But we stretch ourselves and grow for the benefit of our children, so that we can build the best life for them.
I wonder if there are stages of development for parenting as well as block building...
Give,
and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full--pressed
down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured
into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get
back."
We experienced so many beautiful things amidst the struggles of the tornado. Really, when I look back on this 10 years from now, I believe I will remember the beauty rather than the pain, for it already overshadows the hardship.Once again, "the shadow proves the sunshine."
My Uncle Leon and Aunt Marilyn surprised Maddie and I the other day with a delivery. {this may take a while...my computer screen keeps getting blurry}
One of the hardest days in the aftermath of the tornado was cleaning up Maddie playroom. So much destruction and loss. I didn't really care too much about losing my things, but when it came to Maddie's stuff, it was really more than I could bear.
That day, Aunt Marilyn, Uncle Leon, my cousins, Gayla, Staci, Amy, and their hubbies, my sister, Christie and brother-in-law Clayton were all here to help out. What a tremendous blessing!
I asked if they could just make the decision of what was a loss and what could be salvaged. Don't show me, just snap a picture for insurance and put it to the curb. It was the only way I knew to get through it.
I didn't have to face the facts until a few weeks later when it was time to fill out the forms for insurance claims. {again with the blurry screen}
I was super sad about losing her desk and dollhouse.
But now, they are back again and in their proper places!!
Uncle Leon took all of these little bits and pieces to her dollhouse and cleaned them up, ready to use again!
Her desk had some serious gouges that required cleaning, sanding, and staining.
I think it looks better now than the day we bought it, if that's possible!!
A HUGE thanks to Madelin, Madison, and Cleo for all of your help organizing and putting together Maddie's little art center!!
We love you all so much! :)
To all those who played a role in helping us out:
I hope the promises of Luke 6:38 manifest themselves in your lives today!!
Thank you for giving, I'm blessed to be the recipient of your graciousness.
One of the highlights of a tornado makeover is new furniture!!
I'm completely in love with our new hardwood floors, and we opted for a leather sofa and loveseat so we can easily clean it with our little mess maker.
Our new table is a solid wood hickory. We kind of settled on this one since we made the mistake of visiting Ethan Allen. Kyle and I both fell in love with a set of table and chairs, but the price tag was beyond our reach, so this table is a good second best!
A bonus for this table is the leaf folds down inside itself so we don't have to find a place for it. :)
My favorite room is Maddie's!
She loves it too!
She keeps her shoes in one of the drawers underneath.
She's already brought me a pair of shoes and said, "Outside? Come on, let's go!"
Love that she's becoming more and more independent.
Her dresser has her pj's and play clothes in it.
The bin beside it holds our library books we read before bed time.
I'm trying really hard to have a place for everything and everything in its place!
Which leads me to her closet!
As far as decorating, I still need to work on her shelves...
any ideas on what to do with this space are welcome!!
please help!
The amazing thing is her framed book jackets survived the tornado so they are still up!
So that's what we have so far!
We still need to finish the master bedroom, master bath, and my new photography office that used to be Maddie's playroom.
Early yesterday morning as the rain came down and the thunder rolled, I kept thinking how wonderful it was to be in our nice, cozy bed at home.
Maddie has been sleeping in her own room, but every night around 1:00 or 2:00 she comes to our room and gets in bed with us.
I loved that we were all together and I could listen to the rain and thunder and not fear for our safety at the same time.
Now that I think about it, it didn't even occur to me to be scared.
Must be a God-thing!
"thanks Jesus!"
Speaking of the bed...
I have been trying to establish a new morning routine which involves making the bed.
As Maddie was "helping" make the bed yesterday, I had to grab the camera.
The first time I've "grabbed the camera" for a little impromptu photoshoot since the tornado!
The light was gorgeous, highlighting the brushfield spots in her eyes, one of the many beautiful features her extra chromosome has to offer!
I really want to frame these three as a set and hang them above our bed.
Another change I'm making...only decorating with photographs, artwork of a different kind :)
I promised pictures of the new furniture, but I was an a bit scatterbrained, preoccupied and left my camera on all day and all night and completely drained the battery...nice.
So, I promise pictures will come (hopefully tomorrow!!)
I've had several catch phrases running through my mind lately...
"this world is not my home."
"home is where the heart is."
"there's no place like home."
However you define home...we are back in it!!!
So. Excited.
Yippeeeeee!
We moved in Tuesday!
There's still a few minor details, like the Master bath vanity, the guttering, and the fences that needs to be done, but the house is fully functional and we are moved in!
$60,000 worth of damage and yet less than 2 months we're back home...it's just amazing.
I feel proud of our little home.
This was our "starter" home that we originally thought would only be a stepping stone to things bigger and better on down the road.
10 years later, we are still here and I love it so much.
Now it is new and improved with brand-new hard wood floors, fresh paint, new digs to grace the place and I am
de.ter.mined.
to keep it nice and tidy!
From this point on, nothing is allowed in my home without purpose.
It's purpose could be to make us smile, or make our lives easier, but it has to be defined.
One thing I've learned from this tornado experience is "stuff" can overwhelm you.
Typing in every single item lost in a spreadsheet, researching it's replacement value, and sending all the information off to an insurance agent has made me realize what power this stuff unintentionally holds.
Less really is more.
Really.
I am bursting with gratitude!
So grateful for such amazing friends and family to see us through this rotten time of life.
Grateful for our home with a few minor scars that expose the trauma, but survived the worst Mother Nature threw at her.
Grateful for my marriage that was tested with stressful decisions but survived the emotional outbursts and misdirected anger.
Grateful for my precious Maddie who has endured nightmares, fears, and a sense of disorder but has proven herself resilient and strong.
