The Art of Compliments Project

What if we always saw the good in everybody?

What if when we thought of others, we only remembered the good things?

I used to always make New Year Resolutions.  They were just like everyone else's.  

Keep a Tidy House. 

Eat Healthy.

Exercise More.

Find Balance.

And just like everyone else's they were cast to the back of my mind by mid-February.  

I didn't make any resolutions this year.

But I am embarking on a new project for 2016 that I am super-duper excited about!

I call it Philippians 4:8; The Art of Compliments Project.

A few months back, I began studying the book of Philippians.  

My goal was to read the entire book every day for a month. 

This really helped see the cohesiveness of Paul's writing.

I noticed in chapter 1, Paul writes, "I thank my God in all my remembrance of you." (1:3, ESV)

Then, in chapter 4 is the verse a lot of us are familiar with, 

"Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." (4:8, ESV)

As I read these two verses together, I thought, 'What if Paul was talking about people in 4:8?' 

I began a little experiment of my own, assigning these traits to the people I love.  

I found with these 8 attributes, there was always something that fit, with each person I thought of. 

So cool!!

Then something happened to me several weeks ago. 

My first interaction with a lovely lady from church was her approaching me to tell me she thought I was beautiful.

Say what?!

I don't think ANYONE has ever told me that!  

How nice!

It's really what every woman wants to hear.

My initial reaction was the beauty she sees in me is not so much me, but Christ in me.  

But she didn't know about my tumultuous past with body image issues.

She didn't know that I was noticing that somehow an extra 10 pounds had slowly crept up, all of a sudden!

When I wanted to berate myself when my pants wouldn't button, I remembered our conversation and it gave me just the right perspective to keep from treading down that  dark path once again.

Seeing first hand how an honest, sincere compliment could save me, I knew it was time to pass it on.

Why is it we know the people in our lives are wonderful and worthy of our compliments, yet we keep it to ourselves?

So, 2016 is the initiation of Philippians 4:8, The Art of Compliments Project.

I hope to compliment at least 100 people in my life during the next year.

If you receive something from me in the upcoming year, know you are very much loved and the compliment is long overdue!!

I cannot WAIT to get started :)

I Am Restless...

This feeling usually precedes some sort of spiritual awakening of some degree. 

It feels like sandpaper on my soul.

The first time I felt it, I was working at a florist in 2006, making great use of my degree in Child Development. ;) 

I loved that job. 

 I loved the people I worked for, I loved the creative outlet of designing floral arrangements. 

I loved walking into the flower shop and smelling beauty.

I loved the sentiment of the gesture of sending flowers to someone.  

But this annoying restless feeling wouldn't go away.

I felt God saying, "I've called you for more."

One Sunday morning, I was reading the announcements in the church bulletin and noticed they were needing a  2-yr-old teacher at the preschool.

I knew this was the source of the sandpaper.  

I called the director, which happened to be a good friend, and the next day I interviewed and was hired.  

I loved that job, too. 

I worked there a year until I became pregnant with Maddie.  

The next time I felt this annoying feeling was in 2014.  

The year before had been one of the worst years of my life. 

My neighbor invited me to a writer's workshop for victims of the 2013 tornado. 

I didn't realize I had unresolved issues, but was interested in attending.

I had no idea that would lead to one of the most powerful spiritual lessons of my life.  

It's back again.  

If history repeats itself, change is coming.  

My go-to band when I get like this is Switchfoot. 

I love their sound, their message of making the most of the time we have, their intensity.  

It's good stuff.

I also like Bethel's In Over My Head

In the lyrics of that song, 

"Whether I sink, whether I swim, it makes no difference when I'm

beautifully in over my head."

Right now it feels like winter, 

but I'm hoping spring is right around the corner.  

Happy Halloween!!

Maddie LOVES Halloween!

Dress up is her most beloved activity so combine that with candy and it's heaven!!

She was Minnie Mouse!

This year she went up to the doors all by herself...

She did a great job saying, "Trick-or-treat" and "Thank-You", and then she would run back to us and say, "I did it!"

Halfway through the night, we taught her to say, "Happy Halloween!"

At this house, they had fun talking to her and when she ended with Happy Halloween, they laughed and said, "Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas!" 

She then told the next few houses, Merry Christmas!  LOL!

For those of us trick-or-treating ourselves, we left candy out in a bowl for trick-or-treaters to help themselves.

Daddy taught her which candies to select in a situation like this...chocolate trumps all others, of course!

We had a great time this year. 

The weather was gorgeous and the neighborhood was bustling with activity!

Another year in the books!

"Happy Halloween, Merry Christmas!"

"Don't Fix Me, Just Enjoy Me"

A couple of years ago I had a conversation with another Down Syndrome Mommy with a few more years experience. 

She had wise words for me. 

I knew at the time this wasn't just another casual conversation at a birthday party.

Something inside me said, "Listen up, and listen well.  You need to hear this!"

She humbly offered advice from her plate of perspective and experience with a side of "if I had to do it all over again."

The context was therapy.

At one point, we needed two hands to count all the the specialists in Maddie's life.  

In all her wisdom she said, "Don't forget to enjoy them."

I heard her words, and knew they were important, but it took a while for them to permeate.    

We had a full schedule of appointments for Speech, Occupational Therapy, Cranial Sacral adjustments, etc. 

It wasn't a walk in the park for any of us.

As a mom, we just do what we have to do and sacrifice what we need to for the sake of our children. 

I thought this was what life with a special needs child was supposed to be like.

I didn't see it at the time, but Maddie was so frustrated. 

I wonder if she could have articulated it, if she would have said,

"Don't fix me, just enjoy me."

Hind sight is 20/20, right?

I can see now that we are in a good, healthy place how all that effort and energy and economic resources spent on helping her may not have been for the best.  

I had a crisis of purpose, and God was whispering to my soul.

It began with a casual conversation at a birthday party.

Then, it was the thought, "why don't you homeschool?"

I opened my heart to the idea of homeschool, and it's like when I did, my eyes were then opened to see Maddie the way she was meant to be seen.

Nothing, thus far, has been as rewarding in my motherhood journey as homeschooling.

And it's really not so much about what she's learning (or not learning), it's much more about discovering what makes her tick.

It's noticing that her attention span is very limited from one day to the next and connecting cause and effect.  

It's seeing that look in her eye and the joy she feels when she gets it.

It's connection.

And isn't that what life is all about?

I would venture to suggest this idea of trying to fix our children is universal.  

It may rear its ugly head more easily in children whose needs are easily identified, but it could be true for any parent.

My friend's words were so wise,  I believe they are worth repeating.

"Don't forget to enjoy them!"

Let's Catch Up, Shall We?

We had an unforgettable summer, in both good ways and bad.  

Maddie just turned 7, which seems so surreal.
She picked out water balloons at the Dollar Tree and wanted to throw them on her birthday.

She would get really frustrated when they wouldn't bust!

Her Daddy taught her to throw them high...

Success!

  

We are still working on potty training but definitely making some progress and heading in the right direction.

  

She's still not sleeping through the night, and it seems like we may have to look into another sleep study to to check on her sleep apnea.

  

Her expressive speech has improved drastically.  

The other day we were in JCPenny's looking at purses and she said, "ooh, look Mom, cool, huh?"

It seems insignificant, but this was the first time I remember her stating an original thought on her own that wasn't just repeating back something said to her, or asking for something she wanted.

We have been very focused on homeschool lately.

Throughout the summer months, we tried to do homeschool, but we could never really find a rhythm.  It was very hit and miss, and Maddie was not exactly cooperative.  

I had invested in a set of curriculum that targeted neurodevelopment, thinking it would be the perfect fit.
As it turns out, it wasn't.  

In August, I decided to shake things up and focused on reading and having fun.
Armed with just a picture book, Jesse Bear, What Will You Wear?, we began a whole new homeschooling adventure!

Together we made our own Jesse Bear.
(before you think, oh i could never do that, believe me...if I can do it, so can you.
I made lots of mistakes in the making of Jesse Bear, and he looks more like the Hunchback from Notre Dame than he does a sweet, cuddly bear, but Maddie doesn't care! She loves him!)

She practiced her scissor skills when cutting out the pattern.
We used fine motor skills to stuff Jesse Bear.
And we discovered how wonderful the stuffing feels, a new sensory exploration!

Before we sewed Jesse Bear up, we gave him a heart.

We read Ephesians 4:32 "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ Jesus forgave you."
We talked about how Jesse Bear's heart is kind, tender, and forgiving.

On one of the pages in the book it shows Jesse Bear chasing butterflies with a net.  Maddie picked up on that and I found a butterfly net at the Dollar Tree.
We "caught" butterflies and counted them.

 The "butterflies" are just a pad of paper I found at Mardel. I folded them in half, thinking they would flutter.

We had a blast! And she just so happened to catch 7 butterflies on her 7th birthday, so we talked about how old she is now.

I only intended to spend a couple of weeks on Jesse Bear What Will You Wear? but she is still so excited about the book, we continue to read it every day.
She's began picking up the words and can read "red","pants","bear", and "wear."

Next week we have the Down Syndrome Association of Central Oklahoma's annual festival and fundraiser with a 5K run.

We are gearing up for that and excited to see our friends.

Maddie has already decided she wants to be Minnie Mouse for Halloween (which she absolutely LOVES!)  Of all the holidays, I would never have guessed Halloween would be her favorite, but it is!

Hopefully, I'll keep the blog updated more often now that we have seemed to find our daily rhythm with homeschooling.

Until then,
Thanks for stopping by!

The Embrace

God can be confusing sometimes.

For those not familiar with my situation, read this post.

I consider those five days between hearing and believing what was possible to be a spiritual pilgrimage for me. 

During those five days in my daily bible reading plan I've been following, I "stumbled upon" verses like John 15:7,

"If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you."

The next day it was John 16:23b-24

"Truly, truly, I say to you, whatever you ask of the Father in my name, he will give it to you.  Until now you have asked nothing in my name.  Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full."

The progression of the journey had three parts.

First, I had to reconcile whether or not I truly believed God was ABLE to work this miracle of breathing life back into the baby.

Once that was established, the next step was determining whether God DESIRED to work a miracle. 

Most of my nights during this five day time span were spent on my knees in prayer, for at least some portion of the early morning hours.

I'll admit I'm not accustomed to praying on my knees, but I discovered there's something about that posture that makes the prayer experience deeper, more real, and tangible.

After some intense prayer, I concluded it was God's desire.

Finally, I had to reconcile whether or not I had the faith to RECEIVE  the miracle.  

Looking back, perhaps that's where the plan faltered.

Isn't it incredible that the God of the universe whose spoken words have the power to create the sun, moon, and stars yet he chooses to partner with fallible, feeble humans?

I'll be honest, that Tuesday afternoon, during the moment of truth when there was, in fact, no heartbeat, my first thoughts were, "God, I can't deal with you right now. Leave me alone."

Full disclosure: my ego couldn't have handled such a miracle.

I don't know for sure if that's why things happened the way they did, but there are a few truths I have picked up along the journey, which helps to know there is purpose.

1) God is good.

2) It's prideful to assume I'm entitled to answers.

3) Gratitude not only heals but transforms.

4) An eternal perspective changes everything.

The biggest take-away, however, has been this:

Embrace whatever comes your way.