1) I will no longer be used as a napkin! (it would be really nice to be able to wear a pair of pants more than once before washing)
2) I can complete an entire meal at the dinner table and not have to share ANY of it. (it's the same food - I don't get why it's so much more appealing when taken from my plate!)
3) My hands will not have to be exposed to any poop. (coming into to contact with too much poop in one day really taunts one's dignity!)
This age will certainly be remembered for many, many things!