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After being told I would never be able to have children, I am now a stay-at-home Mommy to Maddie who happens to have Down Syndrome. I've been married 16 years to my best friend, having the time of my life. Thanks for stopping by and sharing in our little journey through life.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Silent Grief

A lot of people have asked how I'm doing since the miscarriage.  
Sometimes, I honestly don't know.  

When it first happened, I just wanted to quickly close the chapter and move on.  
But... Grief has a way of letting its presence be known.  

I learned this wasn't something that could be shoved down and forgotten.  

I know nothing about long-suffering.
I'm one of those people its easy to hate because everything always works out for me.  
I live with sunshine, rainbow-filled days overflowing with optimism and oozing joy. 

Grief is new.
Grief is foreign.

I feel it expanding my understanding and stretching my humanity. 

It's not the type of grief that threatens to take over.
It's more of a silent grief that shows up in the single, solitary tear that falls when I'm alone.  

I'm learning through the wise mentoring of several ladies from my Ladies Bible Study group that grief is something that stays with you always, changing who we are and how we see the world.  

I don't need to understand why.
I do need to embrace the grieving process and learn as much as I can along the way.  

Thank you for all of the wise counsel and prayers!  
I may consider this a silent grief, but it helps to know through your connection and prayer, I'm not alone.

And I have found so much healing there.

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