I can’t get motivated. I’m so tired. So very tired. So tired of sleepless nights. So tired of the monotonous mommy-chores. So tired of correcting, re-directing, teaching, role-modeling. I just want to collapse and cry. Cry out the pressure, the stress, the expectations. Just cry it all out.
Ecc. 7:3 “Crying is better than laughing. It blotches the face but it scours the heart.”
I wanted to steep myself in this low like the peppermint tea leaves I soaked in boiling water last night. Then I read this verse. I had a good cry, and I kind of feel a little better. I don’t mind steeping for a little longer though. Many of you who know me wonder what alien has come and invaded my body. I’m never down. But today it feels right.
I wonder if sometimes I need these hard days so I can be durable and firm. When it comes to discipline, I have to admit I can be a softee. Well, not today. Maddie has been in time out only once in her 27 months of living and this morning she’s been in time out twice already. (both times for crawling up on the table…even after a warning!) I had no bad feelings about a good time out.
I’m sure I’ll continue to cry all day. I cried when Maddie was bawling because she didn’t want to go down for nap. I cried when I watched a stupid interview on TV. I cried when I looked around at the mess that surrounds me. But my heart will be scoured and scrubbed and will hopefully come out polished and gleaming. And my to-do list can wait for tomorrow. Sorry for the downer, but thanks for "listening".